Wacky Chatroom
by The Awesomeness of Moosey
Summary: I know this ain't my idea, so please don't bug me. Firestar is chasing butterflies, Jaypaw is emo, Graystripe wants a divorce with Millie, and Lionpaw is obsessed with milkshakes. What will happen when clan cats go on Wacky Chatroom?
1. Introducing the Cats

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors at all. I decided to do my own chatroom because a lot of other people are, and it seemed like fun. :) Just remember this wasn't my idea, although the chatroom names are mine, and I'm sorry if I accidently used anybody else's cat online names, because I did the best I could to be original.**

Allegiances 

ThunderClan

**Leader-**Firestar-DontfearFireladishere

**Deputy-** Brambleclaw-Curlyclaw333

**Medicine Cat-** Leafpool-Poolofleaves

**Warriors-** Dustpelt-Itchyback111

Sandstorm-Sandiewhirl123

Cloudtail-Feedmeimadorable

Brackenfur-Ishouldbedeputy

Thornclaw-Freakingoutoverhairloss

Brightheart-Lostfacenomore

Ashfur-Ihelpedhawkfrost

Sorreltail-Prettywarriorkitty2

Spiderleg-Creepyguy888

Brook Where Small Fish Swim (Brook)-Tribekittyatheart

Stormfur-Loyalonlytobrook

Whitewing-Whitecatomygosh

Birchfall-Fearmyugliness

**Apprentices-**

Berrypaw-Whereowhereismytail

Hazelpaw-Nuttynutjob

Mousepaw-Squeakycattoy77

Cinderpaw-Reincarnatedfromashes

Honeypaw-Prettyshecat9797

Poppypaw-Whatanoddname

Lionpaw-Boastfulkitty656

Jaypaw-Killmenow

Hollypaw-Hollywhittlywhackyo

**Queens-**

Ferncloud-Cloudscantbeferns

Daisy-Stupidkittypet

Squirrelflight-Rabidsquirrel

**Elders-**

Longtail-Blindoldbat

Mousefur-Mousebut545

**Kits-**

Icekit-Frozenintime

Foxkit-Devilishgrin


	2. First Session

WARNING: The Following may be a pathetic attempt at humor. 

_**The Main Character in this Chatroom is:**_ **Poolofleaves**

**_Vote for the cat who you think should be the next main character in another chapter, and it may just happen!_**

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**Dontfearfireladishere has logged on**

**Sandiewhirl123 has logged on**

**Poolofleaves has logged on**

**Whitecatomygosh has logged on**

**Dontfearfireladishere-** Hi honey, how was hunting patrol?

**Sandiewhirl123-** Oh, it was wonderful. I caught two rabbits, and a lightningbug.

**Poolofleaves- **what's so special about catching a stupid lightningbug? Crowfeather caught me fifty.

**Dontfearfireladishere- **Don't listen to our ignorant daughter, Sandiewhirl. She's SO rude.

**Dontfearfireladishere has invited Sandiewhirl123 to a Conference**

**Sandiewhirl123 has accepted**

**Poolofleaves- **finally, we can talk to each other without interruptions.

**Whitecatomygosh- **i know, totally, I mean like, yeah.

**Poolofleaves- **parents can be burdens

**Whitecatomygosh- **i know, like totally, Leafy, like, yeah. There was like this one time, where my daddy like embarrassed me like in from of like, the entire clan.

**Lostfacenomore has logged on**

**Feedmeimadorable has logged on**

**Feedmeimadorable-** Mind your parents, Whitewing.

**Lostfacenomore- **What's gotten into you dear? You are talking like a valley mouse.

**Whitecatomygosh- **MOTHER! DADDY! I'm not a little kit anymore!!!!!!!! Get out of my life!!!!!!

**5 minutes have passed and no one has replied to Whitecatomygosh.**

**Poolofleaves- **wow, whitey, I thought you were really mad, why haven't you logged off?

**Whitecatomygosh- **i wanted to like, see how my daddy and mother would react to my dramactic emo explosion.

**Lostfacenomore- **That's enough out of you, young kitty. Your father and I have agreed to ground you.

**Whitecatomygosh- **WHAT? Like, NOOOO!

**Feedmeimadorable-** LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER YOU LITTLE BRAT!

**Whitecatomygosh has logged off**

**Lostfacenomore has logged off**

**Feedmeimadorable has logged off**

**Poolofleaves- **-sigh- alone again.

**Radbidsquirrel has logged on**

**Poolofleaves- **hey squirrely, how ya doing?

**Rabidsquirrel- **horrible, my kits have been following me everywhere

**Poolofleaves- **why?

**Rabidsquirrel- **Lionpaw wants a milkshake, whatever the heck that is, Hollypaw wants to rap to me this song shes been working on, and Jaypaw keeps complaining about his life.

**Boastfulkitty656 has logged on**

**Killmenow has logged on**

**Hollywhittlywhackyo has logged on**

**Boastfulkitty656-** Mommie, I want a milkshake! I need sugar in my blood! I deserve it! I beat off three badgers today.

**Hollywhittlywhackyou- **Mom, listen! _I come from ThunderClan, that's where I'm at! I pray to StarClan, Lionpaw is fat! Jaypaw stinks because hes a goth, Firestar still chases butterflies and moths. WORD._

**Killmenow- **That was HORRIBLE! Do me a favor and kill me. Please. Mom, my life is HORRIBLE!

**Boastfulkitty656- **I'M NOT FAT YOU UGLY!

**Rabidsquirrel- **okay, okay lets see if we can work this out. Hollypaw, honey, that was all beautiful and true, but sometimes the truth isn't easy to hear. Jaypaw, darling…just, get a life. Lionpaw, I don't care how many badgers you fought off this morning; you aren't getting a milkshake. I hate to say this, but you are _**pretty**_ chubby.

**Boastfulkitty656 has logged off**

**Killmenow has logged off**

**Hollywhittlywhackyo has logged off**

**Poolofleaves- **I think they're mad.

**Freakingoutoverhairloss has logged on**

**Fearmyugliness has logged on**

**Freakingoutoverhairloss- **Hey Squirrely, hey Leafy

**Poolofleaves-** Oh, hey Thorny. Have you gotten over your oldness yet?

**Freakingoutoverhairloss has logged off**

**Poolofleaves- **What did I say? I was just joking, geesh.

**Fearmyugliness- **I am also a touchy cat when it comes to my age.

**Rabidsquirrel- **What are you talking about, Birchy? You aren't much younger than I am.

**Fearmyugliness- **I rest my case. Face it Rabidsquirrel, you're an old fart too.

**Rabidsquirrel has invited Fearmyugliness to a Conference**

**Fearmyugliness- **No way, Squirrely.

**Rabidsquirrel has forced Fearmyugliness into a Conference**

**Poolofleaves- **I wonder how she did that.

THE END SO FAR

**737373737373737373737373737373737373737373737373**

_**Will Dontfearfireladishere ever stop chasing butterflies?**_

_**Will Fearmyugliness live in the end after Rabidsquirrel's wrath?**_

_**Will Boastfulkitty656 ever get his milkshake?**_

Find out next time, on Wacky Chatroom!

Good night, everyone.


	3. Second Session

**WARNING! ****The following may be a pathetic attempt at humor. It may result in heart failure or your kidney imploding for no apparent reason.**

_**Who is the main character in this session? Why, none other than: **_**Ishouldbedeputy**

**Ishouldbedeputy has logged on **

**Creepyguy888 has logged on **

**Cloudscantbeferns has logged on**

**Ishouldbedeputy: **Hey Spideleg! How was dawn patrol? Did you get that catnip for Leafpool?

**Creepyguy888: **Actually no. Cloudtail and Berrypaw came with me and before I could stop them, they ate it all. Then they exploded. I hope they're in a better place now…

**Cloudscantbeferns: **Spiderleg, sweetie, remember to visit Leafpool's den and get that rash medication on that private place we were discussing last night.

**Creepyguy888: **MOM! Sheesh, only the whole cyberspace can hear you!!!!!

**Ishouldbedeputy**: ………

**Cloudscantbeferns has invited Creepyguy888 to a Conference**

**Creepyguy888 has reluctantly accepted**

**Ishouldbedeputy:** ………Okay then….

**Ishouldbedeputy: **Hey anyone on?**  
Killmenow has logged on**

**Boastfulkitty656 has logged on**

**Hollywhittywhackyo has logged on**

**Ishouldbedeputy: **GROANS, not you guys. I thought your mother took away your Internet connection.

**Killmenow: **She did.

**Ishouldbedeputy: **oh-kay, then how are you on?

**Boastfulkitty656: **Hollypaw hotwired the computer.

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **It was easy after hotwiring motorcycles.

**Ishouldbedeputy: **WHAT?

**Killmenow: **Ewww, you're way to old for us, man. Come on brothers, lets chill in the trees.Peace on Earth, Peace on Earth.

**Ishouldbedeputy: **What's up with him???

**Boastfulkitty656: **He's been like that ever since he met this one freaky loner in the woods.

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **The world's outta whack yo.

**Boastfulkitty656: **I hear you, sista.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **Awww, my adorable grandkits are on as well. Aren't they angels, Brackenfur?

**Ishouldbedeputy: **ANGELS? They're more like DEVILS! Except for Jaypaw, who's becoming…strange…

**Killmenow: **I have decided to change my name to…

**Killmenow:** …Heavenonearth

**Boastfulkitty656: **Oh, gosh no! Holly home bro, our brother is becoming…a hippy. Do you have any raps to get us out of this one?

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **Of course, of course. Just give me a second…_my blind little brother got a problem, Starclan. He used to say, 'whatever' but now he talks 'bout 'the man' Change him, Change him, back to a goth, or at least stop Firestar from chasing after moths. WORD._

**Dontfearfireladishere: **That was, beautiful! Give me a hug, grand-kitty.

**Hollywhittlywackyo:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Hollywhittlywackyo has logged off**

**Boastfulkitty656:** No offense, stinky grandfather, but Hollypaw says that if you hug an old fart, the old fartness rubs off on you.

**Dontfearfireladishere:** No worries. I had some hip and groovy superstitions in my day.

**Heavenonearth:** Finally! Someone understands my vocabulary!

**Boastfulkitty656 has logged off**

**Dontfearfireladishere:** -sniff sniff- I feel like we are finally bonding, grand-kitty. No more emo explosions, no more gloomy behavior, it's sunny trees and chasing butterflies from here on.

**Heavenonearth has changed his name**

**Killmenow has logged off**

Ishouldbedeputy: I think he decided that he wanted to be a goth again.

**Dontfearfireladishere:** No……..he's probably just getting his butterfly net. I should keep him company.

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged off**

**Ishouldbedeputy:** I don't think that that's gonna end well.

**Squeakycattoy77 has logged on**

**Nuttynutjob has logged on**

**Ishouldbedeputy:** Hey mousepaw, hey hazelpaw

**Nuttynutjob:** What's up, old fart?

**Ishouldbedeputy:** IM NOT AN OLD FART!!!!!!

**Squeakycattoy77:** Chill, dude. You're as touchy as Birchy and Thorny.

**Nuttynutjob:** Yeah, maybe you should hang out with them a lot, you know get to know them before you all join the elders.

**Ishouldbedeputy:** Look, if you want old, go and mess with Dustpelt, Sandstorm, Graystripe, and Firestar. They're old. Not me.

**Squeakycatttoy77:** Whatever you say, dude. Whatever you say.

**Nuttynutjob has logged off**

**Squeakycattoy has logged off**

**Devilishgrin has logged on**

**Frozenintime has logged on**

**Frozenintime:** Oh, look, Foxkit! And elder!

**Ishouldbedeputy:** WHY YOU LITTLE BRATS, I OUGHTTA KICK YOU TO SHADOWCLAN CAMP!

**Devilishgrin:** Calm down elderly kitty. We'll take care of your fleas and switch your bedding for you after Frozenintime gives me the link to some games online.

**Ishouldbedeputy:** I'M NOT AN ELDER!

**Devilishgrin: **Riiiiiiiight.

**Frozenintime:** Here it is, Foxkit. www. ortho wright . com / gameroom . html

**Devilishgrin:** SWEET! DENTIST GAMES! Thanks Icey.

**Devilishgrin has blocked other cats and has gone online**

**Frozenintime:** Alrighty, elder. I'll go switch your bedding. brb.

**Frozenintime has logged off**

**Ishouldbedeputy:** I'M NOT AN ELDER!!! Ah, who am I kidding? They won't listen.

**Cloudscantbeferns and Creepyguy888 have returned from their Conference**

**Cloudscantbeferns:** Brackenfur! Why have you been screaming at my kits? And why are you forcing them into labor???

**Ishouldbedeputy:** They called me an elder.

**Cloudscantbeferns:** Well, you are older than me…

**Ishouldbedeputy has logged off**

**Not my best, I gotta say. It could've been loads better. I'm just busy with school and stuffers.**

_**Anyways! Remember to tell me who you think should be the next main character, and also try to suggest the names for Crowfeather, Tawnypelt, Mothwing, Mistyfoot, Leopardstar, and any other semi-important characters you can think of.**_

THANKS!

--Moosey


	4. Third Session

**WARNING:**** You know the drill. The following story is a pathetic attempt at humor and may make your kidney implode, yada yada, and it has been discovered that it has made small children cry.**

_**Thanks for all those wonderful reviews!!!!**_

**I have come to a conclusion, (and I changed some suggestions slightly, and others majorly, and fused some together) And these are some new names for new characters!**

**WindClan **

**Crowy - SoConfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy  
ShadowClan**

**Tawny - sweetthang09**

**Blackstar - Gothichomeskillet  
RiverClan**

**Misty - foggiepaw211  
Leopardstar – Spottedstarlovesyou**

**Mothwing – Imnotarealmedcat111  
StarClan**

**Bluestar – Whenhedgehogsfly**

**Whitestorm – I rockyoursocks11**

**Spottedleaf – Spoddetleaf**

**New ThunderClan Characters **

**Graystripe – Fuzzykittylovedbyall**

**Millie – Givememilkorelse**

**And…-trumpet blast- the main character of this session is….****Fuzzykittylovedbyall**

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**Dontfearfireladishere has logged on**

**Sweetthang09 has logged on**

**Gothichomeskillet has logged on**

**Dontfearfireladishere: **who the heck are you guys?? i've never seen you on before

**Gothichomeskillet: **I'm blackstar you freak

**Sweetthang09: **It's me, Tawnypelt.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I can kinda tell that's you, tawnypelt, because you are actually using proper grammer

**Dontfearfireladishere: **but wait! why are you guys on all a sudden?

**Gothichomeskillet: **Our internet was broken before

**Dontfearfireladishere: **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I laugh at your failure.

**Gothichomeskillet has logged off**

**Sweetthang09: **Nice going, Firebut. :(

**Sweetthang09 has logged off**

**Dontfearfireladishere: **sniffle. don't go!!!!!

**Dontfearfireladishere: **.im so lonely..i could..just..sing…(Spotlight forms around him)

**Dontfearfireladishere: **one is the loneliest number….

**Sandiewhirl123 has logged on**

**Sandiewhirl123: **Hey Firestar! What's up?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **two…can be as bad as one…

**Sandiewhirl123: **WELL EXCUUUUUUSE YOU!!!

**Sandiewhirl123 has logged off**

**Dontfearfireladishere: **It's just a song, honey.

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged off **

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall has logged on**

**Givememilkorelse has logged on**

**Givememilkorelse: **Graystripe, I'm scared.

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **Shut your yap. It's just the internet!!

**Givememilkorelse: **But it's so…big…and…vast…

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **Stupid kitty-pet, I should have never taken you as a mate. I only did it because Silverstream told me to.

**Givememilkorelse: **WHO'S THIS SILVERSTREAM???

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **A skinnier, prettier, and less stupid cat that you are.

**Givememilkorelse: **Oh no you didn't –snaps overenthusiastically-

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **just...don't do that...

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **I can't believe that you signed us up for this crow-food. Lookie! A flashing advertisemnet for the Warriors Books…HEY! That picture makes me look fat

**Givememilkorelse: **I agree. You are fat.

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall has logged off**

**Givememilkorelse: **Oh, what a kit

**Givememilkorelse has logged off**

**Stupidkittypet: **What did I miss?

**Itchyback111 has logged on**

**Itchyback111: **Oh great, it's the stupid kittypet

**Itchyback111: **First Firestar, then Cloudtail, then _you_.

**Itchyback111: **It disgusts me

**Stupidkittypet: **Oh yeah…well, YOUR OLD, so HAH!

**Itchyback111: **Oh yeah, well, your UGLY!

**Stupidkittypet: **Well, guess what, YOUR MOMMA'S UGLY!

**Itchyback111: **That's low, even for you…

**Itchyback111 has logged off **

**Stupidkittypet has logged off**

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall has logged on**

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **Finally, I got away from that fat, stupid, and ugly cat, Millie

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged on**

**Dontfearfireladishere: **woah, it seems a lot of cats have been signing up for IM lately

**Dontfearfireladishere: **so who are you?

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **It's me, Graystripe you IDIOT!!! I CANNOT believe you!!!!!!! You said you'd wait for me

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I lied…duuuuhhhh

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **sniff sniff, I thought you were my friend

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I'm not….double duuuuhhhhh I just hanged out with you because I liked Silverstream

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **WHAT???

**Dontfearfireladishere: **yeah, you heard me. I cant believe you didn't notice. But then she had to go and die, and you know got buried and then she didn't smell as nice…so I didn't like her anymore…

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** YOU LOVED HER BECAUSE SHE SMELLED NICE????????????????????????????

**Dontfearfireladishere: **yup

**Dontfearfireladishere: **you know, I don't like it when cats yell, im gonna go chase some random butterfly now

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged off**

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged on**

**Donfearfireladishere: **oh, and no, you can't come back to thunderclan

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **where will my stupid, useless mate and the awesomness that is I stay then?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I hear that Windclan has some job openings, and they pay you in rabbits, your welcome, bye

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged off**

**Ishouldbedeputy has logged on**

**Lostfacenomore has logged on**

**Ihelpedhawkfrost has logged on**

**Lostfacenomore: **Heys! Look it's Graystripe

**Ihelpedhawkfrost: **woah, where were you, dude?

**Ishouldbedeputy: **Oh my goshisness, its my old mentor, Graystripe!!

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **Oh, I suppose that you'd all like my autograph, then?

**Lostfacenomore:** no, thanks 

**Ishouldbedeputy: **Nope

**Ihelphawkfrost: **no, way dude

**Lostfacenomore has logged off**

**Ihelpedhawkfrost has logged off**

**Ishouldbedeputy: **Well, so are you coming back to Thunderclan?

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **Firestar said I couldn't

**Ishouldbedeputy: **we don't call him Firestar anymore, the she-cats call him Firelad and the toms call him Firefartstar

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **that's harsh

**Ishouldbedeputy: **he doesn't mind, at least, I don't think he does. He forgot all about his leadership duties and is always chasing after butterflies

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **I kinda noticed that

**Ishouldbedeputy: **Anyways, my daughters are waiting for me so that we can go see if we can find Cloudtail's and Berrypaw's bodies

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **What??? You have daughters??

**Ishouldbedeputy: **Yah, check it out on my website, ishouldbedeputy/imsoawesome .com

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** Anyways, what happened to Cloudtail and Berrypaw?

**Ishouldbedeputy: **The stupid idiots stuffed themselves with catmint, Spiderleg said that they exploded or something, but we can't really trust him these days. He's going kinda crazy

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **errr…what type of crazy?

**Ishouldbedeputy: **You don't wanna know, trust me

**Ishouldbedeputy:** Anyways, I gots to go

**Ishouldbedeputy:** Bye

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **Byes, nice talking with you

**Ishouldbedeputy has logged off**

**Givememilkorelse has logged on**

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall has logged off**

**Givememilkorelse: **Wait, stripie!

**Givememilkorelse has logged off**

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy has logged on**

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy: **Oh, dang, she isn't on again

**Poolofleaves has logged on**

**Boastfulkitty656 has logged on**

**Poolofleaves: **Oh, hello. Ive never seen you on, before

**Boastfulkitty656: **yeah, who the heck are you?

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy: **ITS ME, MY LOVE, CROWFEATHER!!

**Poolofleaves:**…..

**Poolofleaves: **OH MY GOSH!!! IT REALLY IS YOU! I can tell by your strangley accurate name

**Boastfulkitty656: **bleh, love scene

**Poolofleaves: **Hush, my empty-headed nephew, I'm trying to talk to my forbidden love

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy: **Ive waited so long for this moment…listen, I stole this milkshakes from these idiot Twolegs, and I was thinking we could share one from the stream…

**Boastfulkitty656:** MILKSHAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Boastfulkitty656:** MILKSHAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Boastfulkitty656:** MILKSHAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Boastfulkitty656:** MILKSHAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Boastfulkitty656:** MILKSHAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Boastfulkitty656:** MILKSHAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Boastfulkitty656:** MILKSHAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Boastfulkitty656:** MILKSHAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Boastfulkitty656 has logged off**

**Poolofleaves: **Crowfeather, I don't know why, but I have a feeling hes headed for the stream to steal that milkshake from you

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy: **Don't worry, my love, I'll save it from harm

**Poolofleaves: **I should go too, he can do serious damage to people who get in the way of his milkshakes

**Poolofleaves has logged off**

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy has logged off**

_**

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**_

_**So what do you think?**_

_**Will the heroic Poolofleaves and Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy rescue their milkshake in time???**_

_**Will Graystripe order a divorce with Millie?**_

_**Will Dontfearfireladishere EVER stop chasing butterflies and do what he's supposed to do???**_

_**FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON…**_

**WACKY CHATROOM!!!**

-MOosey


	5. Fourth Session

**WARNING!** **This following story is a pathetic attempt at humor. Scientists have discovered side affects to reading this fanfiction. Reading it may cause gagging, choking, dying, cancer, heart failure, lung problems, broken legs, arm cramps, screaming bloody murder, deafness, blindness, tastelessness, your kidney imploding for no apparent reason, and has also been known to make small children cry. **

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**Saladpaw has logged on **

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged on**

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall has logged on**

**Givememilkorelse has logged on**

**Stupidkittypet has logged on**

**Saladpaw: **Whasup?

**Stupidkittypet: **Eh…who are you?

**Saladpaw: **A computer virus, what else?

**Givememilkorelse: **EEK! A virus, kill it Stripie!

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall: **Shut your mouth, you useless cat!

**Dontfearfireladishere: **ello, saladpaw, how are you? We can swap den addresses, maybe we could hook up and catch butterflies sometime?

**Saladpaw has been destroyed**

**Stupidkittypet:** Oh…kay I guess we all learned that Firestar's butterfly hobby can actually benefit our clan.

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** Firestar will never benefit the clan!!! I HATE HIM!

**Dontfearfireladishere:** Oh come on, just cause I thought Silverstream smelled good…

**Givememilkorelse:** Stripie, forget about Streamsilver, or whatever-her-name-is, you have me, don't you?

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** Millie, that's the last straw. I'M FILING A DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!

**Givememilkorelse has logged off**

**Stupidkittypet:** Eh…can cats do that?

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** Of course we can! We have legal cat rights ever since Hollypaw did the YO amendment.

**Stupidkittypet:** Eh…what's a YO amendment?

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** Don't you read the kitty newspaper?

**Stupidkittypet:** Eh…what's a newspaper?

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** Sheesh, you really are stupid.

**Stupidkittypet:** UGH! Don't tease my screen name! Cloudtail picked it out for me, and since I do everything he tells me to, I went with this name.

**Dontfearfireladishere:** which is strangely accurate…

**Stupidkittypet has logged off**

**Dontfearfireladishere:** we-ell, since you're the only one here, "stripie" then I'm leaving

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** DON'T CALL ME STRIPIE!

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** I HATE MY X-MATE'S STUPID PET NAME!

**Dontfearfireladishere:** your such a nerd

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall:** YOUR BEING A MEANY MINER MOESTER!

**Fuzzykittylovedbyall has logged off**

**Dontfearfireladishere:** one…is…the…loneliest number…

**Saladpaw has been created again**

**Dontfearfireladishere:** ACK! VIRUS GET AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged off**

**Saladpaw:** MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Ishouldbedeputy has logged on**

**Ishouldbedeputy:** Eh….who are you?

**Saladpaw:** Hi, I'm an evil virus that comes out of the computer and kills you in your dreams

**Ishouldbedeputy:** Now come off it, this is rated for a younger audience. That's a bit violent, don't you think?

**Saladpaw:** _One, two, I'm coming for you…_

**Ishouldbedeputy:** Huh???

**Saladpaw:** _Three, four, lock the door…_

**Ishouldbedeputy:** What in starclan is a "door"?

**Saladpaw:** _Fix, six, get the crucifix…_

**Ishouldbedeputy:** I have no idea what your mewing about. Is a crucifix a type of cookie?

**Saladpaw:** WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??

**Ishouldbedeputy:** What's wrong with you? You're just a cheap joke the author of this story created purely because she had no other decent plot lines.

**Saladpaw has been destroyed again**

**Ishouldbedeputy:** oh-kay, im totally freaked out by this.

**Ishouldbedeputy has logged off**

**Killmenow has logged on**

**Hollywhittlywhackyo has logged on**

**Hollywhittlywackyo:** Hey where's our fat bro, yo?

**Killmenow:** He's wasting his life, but aren't we all just wasting our lives by living?

**Hollwhittlywackyo:** seriously, dude, whatsup with lionpaw lately? He's just been sitting hunched over in the dark corner of the apprentice's den, holding a milkshake and rocking back and forth saying, "my precious….my precious…"

**Killmenow:** he was naturally fat at birth, but I realized that he's even fatter than usual because he keeps stealing milkshakes from twolegs

**Hollywhittlywhackyo:** I know, dude, that totally what I'm rapping

**Killmenow:** this is a boring and stupid conversation, but isn't all my conversations with you boring and useless, worthless and a complete waste of life?

**Killmenow has logged off**

**Hollywhittlywhackyo has logged off**

**Whenhedgehogsfly has logged on**

**Staroakstar has logged on**

**Staroakstar:** Ello, Bluey, wanta chat?

**Whenhedgehogsfly:** sure, but what about?

**Staroakstar:** How was your day?

**Whenhedgehogsfly:** work was horrible, yellowfang received this prophecy that said, "_Cheese will melt on top of my tail-end"_

**Staroakstar:** well, that's comfusing

**Whenhedgehogsfly:** I know, right? But it turned out that Tigerstar had sent that propechy from the place of No Stars as a prank

**Staroakstar:** that's just the type of thing I was expecting from him, remember when he sent that other fake prophecy, "_Thy pie lies where I fly"?_

**Whenhedgehogsfly:** Oh yeah! That was hilarious! Remember when we told that to Firestar because we thought it was real, and he began chasing butterflies because he wanted to find the pie?

**Staroakstar:** OMSC, yes! That was so funny, I was crying!

**I rockyoursocks11 has logged on**

**Irockyoursocks11:** what are you all talking 'bout?

**Whenhedgehogsfly:** Oh! Why, aren't you just adorable my adorable little nephew?

**Irockyoursocks11:** Yeah, I am pretty adorable, aren't I?

**Staroakstar:** I wish my kids were as fluffy as you were.

**Irockyoursocks11:** Yeah, I am pretty fluffy, aren't I?

**Foggiepaw211 has logged on**

**Stonedtodeath has logged on**

**Foggiepaw211:** Hey! We ARE adorable AND fluffy!

**Stonedtodeath:** Well, at least I am.

**Whenhedgehogsfly has invited Staroakstar and Irockyoursocks11 to a Conference**

**Staroakstar has accepted**

**Irockyoursocks11:** Before I join my auntie's conference, let me just brag, _rub it in, rub it in._

**Foggiepaw211:** he's practically waving his tail in our faces!

**Stonedtodeath:** That was harsh, ugly cousin

**Irockyoursocks11 has accepted**

**Foggiepaw211:** They completely blew us off!!

**Foggiepaw211 has logged off**

**Stonedtodeath has logged off**

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy has logged on**

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy:** Anyone on?

**Poolofleaves has logged on**

**Poolofleaves:** oh, great it's you

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy:** what's THAT supposed to mean?

**Poolofleaves:** oh, nothing, except that you got owned by a fat apprentice!

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy:** I'm sorry, he sat ontop of me, and I couldn't breath! I'm still nursing my windpipe!

**Poolofleaves:** Oh, waaah…stop complaining! I don't know what I ever saw in you

**Poolofleaves has logged off**

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy:** WAIT! I STILL LOVE YOU!

**Soconfusedwith3matesand1isapiggy has logged off**

_Will Tigerstar stop sending fake prophecies to StarClan?_

_Does "Thy pie lie where I fly"? Or is Firestar just insane and stupid?_

_Will cheese melt on somebody's tail-end?_

_Find out next time on _WACKY CHATROOM!

**_--MOOsey_**


	6. Fifth Session

**Thanks for all those great reviews, guys!**

**You are all so wonderful!**

**Random Person: -Ahem-**

**Oh, right! I have to do that annoying Warning thing. You know, it has grown quite a lot since Scientists keep discovering more and more side affects. Ah, well, on with the story!**

**WARNING!**** The following story may be a pathetic attempt at humor. The CIA, FBI, and CAC (Corn addicts Club) are not responsible for your injuries. Side affects include; Dry-eyes, runny noses, growing a second nose (and you don't want to know where), gagging, choking, dying, cancer, heart failure, lung problems, broken legs, arm cramps, deafness, blindness, tastelessness, your kidney imploding for no apparent reason, and has also been known to make small children cry.**

**Imabigboynow has logged on**

**Frozenintime has logged on**

**Frozenintime: **Hi! I'm Icekit. Nice to meetcha.

**Imabigboynow: **Hey, Icekit, it's me, Foxkit. I just changed my name, that's all.

**Frozenintime: **Foxkit??

**Frozenintime: **OMSC!!

**Frozenintime: **that's a really weird screen name, bro

**Imabigboynow: **we-ell, I just thought that id change it to show people that I can go potty all by myself now

**Frozenintime: **TMI

**Frozenintime: **besides, I learned how to do that _moons _ago

**Imabigboynow has logged off**

**Curlyclaw333 has logged on**

**Curlyclaw333: **Hey! Any1 on? Its my first time on IM

**Frozenintime: **Hi, brambly, tis me, Icekit

**Curlyclaw333: **how'd you know it was me?

**Frozenintime: **I know things, yo

**Curlyclaw333: **now don't you start with me. one hollypaw is quite enough

**Frozenintime: **its not _hollypaw_, it's _hollywhittlywhack _now

**Curlyclaw333 has logged off**

**Frozenintime: **sigh, old farts are soooooooooooooooooooo boring

**Ishouldbedeputy has logged on**

**Ishouldbedeputy: **hey Icekit, whatsup?

**Frozenintime: **EWwWwWwW, tis an elder

**Ishouldbedeputy: **I AM not an elder, Icekit

**Frozenintime: **that's not what my mom says

**Ishouldbedeputy has logged off**

**Frozenintime: **sheesh, he's touchy

**Frozenintime has logged off**

What was the point of that episode, you may ask?

No point actually, just a filler to keep you from killing me while I update the rest of my stories.

Sincerely,

MOOsey


	7. Sixth Session

**WARNING! ****This following story is a pathetic attempt at humor. Scientists have discovered side affects to reading this fanfiction. Reading it may cause gagging, choking, dying, cancer, heart failure, lung problems, broken legs, arm cramps, screaming bloody murder, deafness, blindness, tastelessness, your kidney imploding for no apparent reason, and has also been known to make small children cry.**

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged on**

**Hollywhittlywhackyo has logged on**

**Givememilkorelse has logged on**

**Dontfearfireladishere: **hello mini me!

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **hey, yo, ya talking to me?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **yes

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **did you just call me "mini me"? as in I look like you?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **yes

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

**Hollywhittlywhackyo has logged off**

**Givememilkorelse: **oh-kay….

**Dontfearfireladishere: **why did mini me just scream and log off?

**Givememilkorelse: **because u r ugly.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **yes, I know _that_, but doesn't every apprentice wish they could look like me? i am so ugly I'm awesome.

**Givememilkorelse: **yeah……………about that……….

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I could stand around talking about my awesomeness all day, but thats not what i logged on for

**Givememilkorelse: **what did you log on for?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **2 things. 1) HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE DIVORCED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 2) I caught the most _beautiful _monarch butterfly this morning. oh you should have seen it. It was as awesome as I am, okay not as awesome but still awesome enough

**Givememilkorelse has logged off**

**Dontfearfireladishere: **DOES NO1 CARE ABOUT MY AWESOMENESS???????????????????

**Saladpaw lives again**

**Saladpaw: **I'm your friend, Firelad.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **gosh, that's awfully nice of you, but u r supposed to be evil, right?

**Saladpaw: **MWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Saladpaw: **-cough- I mean, yes, I've changed.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **coolio

**Saladpaw: **Now that I've gained your trust, Firelad, I shall use you.

**Saladpaw: **I mean, control you

**Saladpaw: **I mean, oh never mind. OBEY MY COMMANDS!

**Dontfearfireladishere:** sure 

**Saladpaw: **Now listen closely…kick out Brooke, banish Daisy, give Cloudtail back to his Mommy, drown Stormfur repeatedly until he tells you the secret of why he came crawling back to you, give Graystripe a woogie, tell Sandstorm that she is ugly, tell Leafpool that she's bossy, tell Squirrelflight that she has the worst name ever, tell Jaypaw that he needs to get a girlfriend, tell Lionpaw that he's a loser, tell Hollypaw to stop talking like Snoop-dog, fling a the clan's business at Dustpelt, and maul Brackenfur.

**Dontfearfireladishere:** that sounds like a lot

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I don't _feel_ like it

**Saladpaw: **OBEY ME OR PERISH!

**Dontfearfireladishere: **kay

**Saladpaw: **Good, good.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **huh?

**Saladpaw: **Hm?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **What?

**Saladpaw: **_What?_

**Dontfearfireladishere: **What what?

**Saladpaw: **Why did you say "huh"?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I felt like being random

**Saladpaw: **Just do what I ordered you to do, okay?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I forgot

**Saladpaw: **What?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I forgot what you told me

**Saladpaw: **Just scroll up and read it again, imbecile!

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I don't understand

**Saladpaw: **WHAT?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I don't understand why you'd say that

**Saladpaw: **Say what?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **why I have to maul Brackenfur

**Saladpaw: **Oh, I dunno, everyone just hates him.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **oh yeah…

**Saladpaw: **NOW GET TO WORK!

**Dontfearfireladishere: **do I get paid now or after?

**Saladpaw: **…what? You don't get paid!!!

**Dontfearfireladishere: **that wasn't in the job description

**Saladpaw: **THERE WAS NO JOB DESCRIPTION!!!!!!!!!!!

**Dontfearfireladishere: **no, no, I clearly remember a job description…

**Saladpaw: **-twitching- SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I LIKE PIE!

**Saladpaw: **WHY ARE YOU YELLING????

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I wasn't yelling, I accidently pressed caps lock

**Saladpaw: **Oh, okay.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **You know, one time starclan sent me an email

**Saladpaw: **What did it say?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **thy pie lies where I fly

**Saladpaw: **I doubt that

**Dontfearfireladishere: **NO IT'S TRUE!

**Saladpaw: **Did you press caps lock again?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **no I was yelling that time

**Saladpaw: **Oh, okay.

**Saladpaw: **Still, I doubt they would say that unless they were making fun of you

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I don't get it

**Saladpaw: **What????

**Dontfearfireladishere: **why they would make fun of me

**Saladpaw: **….

_Will Firestar do what Saladpaw commands?_

_Does pie lie where I fly?_

_Is Hollypaw as ugly as Firestar?_

_Find out next time!_

Sincerely,

**mOOsey**


	8. Seventh Session

dedicated to: confuzzle bug (thanks ah-bunch!)

**WARNING! The following story may be a pathetic attempt at humor. The CIA, FBI, and CAC (Corn addicts Club) are not responsible for your injuries. Side affects include; Dry-eyes, runny noses, growing a second nose (and you don't want to know where), gagging, choking, dying, cancer, heart failure, lung problems, broken legs, arm cramps, deafness, blindness, tastelessness, laughing hysterically, and your kidney imploding for no apparent reason.**

**Dontfearfireladishere has signed on**

**Hollywhittlywhackyo has signed on**

**Boastfulkitty656 has signed on**

**Dontfearfireladishere: **lalalalalalalalalalalalalala

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **yo dog whaz up?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **the sky

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **what are you talking about?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **the sky is up

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **-smacks paw to forehead- you are one messed up cat

**Boastfulkitty656: **I drove off a bear today

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **dude, its lame enough that you are fat, do you have to brag all the time 2?

**Boastfulkitty656: **I also drove off a badger a unicorn a heffalump a dinosaur-

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **dude! put a sock in it!

**Boastfulkitty656: **mmum-phlu-mphh-umnph-hmmpgh

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **_man_, did you really just put a sock in your mouth? great starclan, am i the only decent cat in this clan?

**Rabidsquirrel has just signed on**

**Rabidsquirrel: **hello kits-who i have considered disinheriting- where is your brother?

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **lionpaw, yo, where _is_ our bro?

**Boastfulkity656: **i believe he left the lake to find a better place to raise spirits from the dead

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **that is messed up

**Dontfearfireladishere: **yay! i am not the only messed up cat here!

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **by the way, firelad, why did you do all those horrible things to our clanmates?

**Dontfearfireladishere: …**

**Dontfearfireladishere: **WHAT things

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **you kicked out Brooke, banished Daisy, gave Cloudtail back to his Mommy, drowned Stormfur repeatedly until he tells you the secret of why he came crawling back to you, gave Graystripe a woogie, told Sandstorm that she is ugly, told Leafpool that she's bossy, told Squirrelflight that she has the worst name ever, told Jaypaw that he needs to get a girlfriend, told Lionpaw that he's a loser, told me to stop talking like Snoop-dog(WHICH I DO NOT! I WOULD NEVER TALK LIKE A DOG!), flung all the clan's business at Dustpelt, and mauled Brackenfur.

**Dontfearfireladishere: **oh THAT things

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **why'd u do that?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **saladpaw

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **what in starclan is a saladpaw

**Dontfearfireladishere: **a computer virus the author created that forced me to do it

**Dontfearfireladishere: **i wasn't even paid

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **then why were you scared of it?

**Dontfearfireladishere: **I am not sure

**Dontfearfireladishere: **got 2 go! Butterfly alert!

**Dontfearfireladishere has logged off**

**Hollywhittlywhackyo: **sigh

**Rabidsquirrel: **do I really have a stupid name?

**Hollywhittlywhackyo has signed off**


End file.
